My Fellow Louisianians:
It has recently come to my attention that President Obama is seeking to one-up me in cutting waste from government by cutting the U.S. Senate out of the federal government, saving all Americans some $300 billion a year. While I applaud such a move, as it will bring our Sinning Senator Vitter and our whoring for Louisiana Senator Landrieu home, I am now announcing a new constitutional amendment that I'd like for the State Legislature to consider:
Abolish the Governor's office after I win the 2012 Presidential Election.
I mean, let's face it ... I'm in the midst of privatizing the Louisiana government to the point that we will not need the Charity Hospital system any longer, nor a Lt. Governor, whose Tourism responsibilities can be better done by, you know, real marketing professionals. Both of these privatizing moves will enable the State of Louisiana to get out of the hospital business, as well as the tourism business.
But I have come to the realization that since most of the governmental functions are going to be privatized under my leadership, it makes sense to simply abolish the Governor's office once I leave Louisiana for the White House. After all, I spend quite a bit of my time out-of-state raising my name ID amongst the conservative faithful and scrounging up cash for my "re-election" bid next year. It's not like anything major happens while I'm gone, so why should that change once I'm elected to be your President?
Let's see President Obama top dat! WHO DAT?!
Best,
Bobby Jindal
