Old Bobby Swindal took over at the Republican Governor’s Association for the 2012-16 cycle and he’s starting his Presidential campaign off with a uproarious etch-a-sketch that old Willard Romney would be proud of. In an EXCLUSIVE interview with Politico that apparently spanned a full 45 minutes (Swindal is long-winded if he is anything), Bobby J just laid down the thickest cut of monstrous bullshit imaginable.
Executing a shameless pivot and sporting a vicious case of Romnesia, Jindal regaled the DC media blow-job factory with a “critical” look at the Grand Old Plutocrats myriad of messaging problems without addressing the actual problem at all, the substance of their policies.
More absurd (and this is truly the theater of the absurd), Jindal then declared a jihad on GOP messaging, while completely side-stepping the fact that JINDAL LUSTILY DEPLOYED THE SAME LANGUAGE, TONE AND UNDERLYING POLICIES THROUGHOUT HIS CAREER.
“In his first interview since his party’s electoral thumping last week, Jindal urged Republicans to both reject anti-intellectualism and embrace a populist-tinged reform approach that he said would mitigate what exit polls show was one of President Barack Obama’s most effective lines of attack against Mitt Romney.”
Dr. Swindal’s prescription? SOUND MORE LIKE DEMOCRATS. I shit you not. Also, stop being so rape-y:
“It is no secret we had a number of Republicans damage our brand this year with offensive, bizarre comments — enough of that,” Jindal said. “It’s not going to be the last time anyone says something stupid within our party, but it can’t be tolerated within our party. We’ve also had enough of this dumbed-down conservatism. We need to stop being simplistic, we need to trust the intelligence of the American people and we need to stop insulting the intelligence of the voters.”
Cue the studio laughter. “Stop insulting” the voters? How about a Creationist Governor, privatizing everything to benefit his rich friends, appointing only campaign donors to public boards, dishonestly using Federal money to plug the insane holes he blasts in the budget, accepting Stimulus money checks and begging for more FEMA dollars while decrying Federal spending, and slashing public hospitals and universities to the bone while claiming to improve services; how about THAT governor telling us how the GOP has to stop insulting voters.
He added: “Simply being the anti-Obama party didn’t work. You can’t beat something with nothing. The reality is we have to be a party of solutions and not just bumper-sticker slogans but real detailed policy solutions.”
May we remind you of Jindal’s drunken twitter binge on election eve, when he fired off several enormously stupid riffs on how much he hated the President’s slogan, Forward, all the while “believing in Louisiana” back here at home. If anything, Jindal has proven his own point. His entire reign as Governor has been marked as an “anti-Obama” campaign. And he’s failing.
The final straw is Jindals sudden abandonment of Big Oil, as he slams “Drill, Baby, Drill” policies as “sloganeering.”
In terms of being more imaginative on policy, he gently rebuked his own party on energy by hinting that he had little use for the “Drill, Baby, Drill” sloganeering on oil production.
“When we talk about energy policy, it cannot simply just be ‘drill more,’ it has to be more than that — it has to be comprehensive,” he said, calling for expanded oil and gas exploration while also looking more favorably than some Republicans on renewable-energy solutions.
Jindal’s main point is that, quote, the GOP has to stop being the “stupid party.” Yes, Bobby Jindal uttered those words. A Creationist Governor who once participated in an exorcism. Maybe one solution to solving the “stupid party” problem for the GOP would be kicking out blowhards like Bobby Jindal.