We’ve grown accustom to Bobby Jindal’s wingnut conservatism, what with the vouchers, and the exorcisms, and the creationism, and supply-side orthodoxy, and the regressive tax policies. Yes, we get it Bobby. In the great pissing match that is the rightwing nutosphere, you are yearning to be their darling.
And darling is a good place to start, because former wingnut darling, queen of the hack-eyed one-liner, the you-betcha from Alaska, Sarah Palin tied Bobby Jindal at this week’s CPAC straw-poll.
Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal badly trailed the top two finishers in the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) Straw Poll. Jindal finished tied for 8th place, with 3 percent of the votes cast by 2,930 conference delegates who were asked who they’d prefer as the 2016 GOP presidential candidate.
Also getting 3 percent of the tallies was former Alaskan Gov. Sarah Palin. Palin was the GOP vice presidential nominee in 2008. The poll results were announced Saturday, the final day of the three-day conference, featuring marathon speeches by conservative politicians.
Who said running for president didn’t have its ignominies! Bobby Mann gives T-Bob a little bad news, “Dude, you’re not going to be president”
It’s not as if you didn’t try to win over the CPAC voters. You were one of their main speakers on Friday. You gave it to them straight, didn’t you?
“Today’s conservatism is in love with zeroes . . . we have an obsession with bookkeeping,” you said. “This obsession with zeros has everyone in our party focused on what – government. By obsessing with zeros on the budget spreadsheet, we send a not-so-subtle signal that the focus of our country is on the phony economy of Washington, D.C. instead of the real economy out in Billings or Baton Rouge.”
It was all fairly well received, except that the speech and the jokes were ones that you’ve given before. As The Atlantic reported, some attendees were quick to notice that you were feeding them stale lines and re-tread jokes.
In a Politico story, writer James Hohmann listed you as one of the “losers” of the conference.
Isn’t it embarrassing that Hohmann noted how you mindlessly read a speech that was so clearly a rehash of your recent Gridiron Speech that you accidentally left in a reference to Attorney General Eric Holder, who had been at the Gridiron Show, but was clearly not in attendance at CPAC?
Jindal also recycled the same jokes he delivered at last weekend’s Gridiron Dinner in Washington.
“I see Eric Holder is with us,” he said at one point, setting up a jest at the attorney general.
Holder, obviously, was not at CPAC.
You also apparently pulled your punches before this very conservative crowed, declining to repeat some of the more quotable passages from a speech you gave in late January to the winter meeting of the Republican National Committee. For instance, gone was your widely quoted line, “We must stop being the stupid party.”
Why did you lose your nerve? Were you afraid of being booed?
So, your CPAC speech didn’t win you many votes, which must be troubling to you and your brain trust. They know that every time you wind up in the low single digits in a poll like this, you lose a little more luster.
Is there any buzz at all about you coming out of CPAC this year?
Here’s your answer: None whatsoever, except that Politico called you a “loser.” That’s a serious problem for you.
Don’t let your tears fill that bayou corne sinkhole yet! This CPAC result isn’t even an improvement over your 2011-2 “run” for vice-president:
Gov. Bobby Jindal has effectively removed himself from consideration as a vice presidential candidate, saying he will serve a full second term after his seemingly inevitable re-election this year. But he finished seventh in the straw poll balloting for vice president at last weekend’s Values Voter Summit, tied with former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee, Rep. Paul Ryan, R-Wis., and Sen. Jim DeMint, R-S.C.
Of course, old Willard never even thought about choosing you. We remember when your star was on the rise! Those were the heady days. We’ll meet you up in Winn at the political hall of fame dinner one day, and reminisce about days gone by.
Oh, it won’t be for your induction or anything, but probably just another courtesy invites, the kind they give to former governor, guys who used to mean something around here.