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Jindal Bandwagon in Reverse

We’ve grown accustom to Bobby Jindal’s wingnut conservatism, what with the vouchers, and the exorcisms, and the creationism, and supply-side orthodoxy, and the regressive tax policies. Yes, we get it Bobby. In the great pissing match that is the rightwing nutosphere, you are yearning to be their darling.

And darling is a good place to start, because former wingnut darling, queen of the hack-eyed one-liner, the you-betcha from Alaska, Sarah Palin tied Bobby Jindal at this week’s CPAC straw-poll.

“Hi, it’s Bobby Jindal, you know, the “Stupid Party” guy.”

Where did these shining stars of nutosphere finish? In eighth place. Eighth, as in 8, as in out of 12.

Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal badly trailed the top two finishers in the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) Straw Poll. Jindal finished tied for 8th place, with 3 percent of the votes cast by 2,930 conference delegates who were asked who they’d prefer as the 2016 GOP presidential candidate.

Also getting 3 percent of the tallies was former Alaskan Gov. Sarah Palin. Palin was the GOP vice presidential nominee in 2008. The poll results were announced Saturday, the final day of the three-day conference, featuring marathon speeches by conservative politicians.

Who said running for president didn’t have its ignominies! Bobby Mann gives T-Bob a little bad news, “Dude, you’re not going to be president

It’s not as if you didn’t try to win over the CPAC voters. You were one of their main speakers on Friday. You gave it to them straight, didn’t you?

“Today’s conservatism is in love with zeroes . . . we have an obsession with bookkeeping,” you said. “This obsession with zeros has everyone in our party focused on what – government. By obsessing with zeros on the budget spreadsheet, we send a not-so-subtle signal that the focus of our country is on the phony economy of Washington, D.C. instead of the real economy out in Billings or Baton Rouge.”

It was all fairly well received, except that the speech and the jokes were ones that you’ve given before. As The Atlantic reported, some attendees were quick to notice that you were feeding them stale lines and re-tread jokes.

In a Politico story, writer James Hohmann listed you as one of the “losers” of the conference.

Isn’t it embarrassing that Hohmann noted how you mindlessly read a speech that was so clearly a rehash of your recent Gridiron Speech that you accidentally left in a reference to Attorney General Eric Holder, who had been at the Gridiron Show, but was clearly not in attendance at CPAC?

Jindal also recycled the same jokes he delivered at last weekend’s Gridiron Dinner in Washington.

“I see Eric Holder is with us,” he said at one point, setting up a jest at the attorney general.

Holder, obviously, was not at CPAC.

You also apparently pulled your punches before this very conservative crowed, declining to repeat some of the more quotable passages from a speech you gave in late January to the winter meeting of the Republican National Committee. For instance, gone was your widely quoted line, “We must stop being the stupid party.”

Why did you lose your nerve? Were you afraid of being booed?

So, your CPAC speech didn’t win you many votes, which must be troubling to you and your brain trust. They know that every time you wind up in the low single digits in a poll like this, you lose a little more luster.

Is there any buzz at all about you coming out of CPAC this year?

Here’s your answer: None whatsoever, except that Politico called you a “loser.” That’s a serious problem for you.

Don’t let your tears fill that bayou corne sinkhole yet! This CPAC result isn’t even an improvement over your 2011-2 “run” for vice-president:

Gov. Bobby Jindal has effectively removed himself from consideration as a vice presidential candidate, saying he will serve a full second term after his seemingly inevitable re-election this year. But he finished seventh in the straw poll balloting for vice president at last weekend’s Values Voter Summit, tied with former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee, Rep. Paul Ryan, R-Wis., and Sen. Jim DeMint, R-S.C.

Of course, old Willard never even thought about choosing you. We remember when your star was on the rise! Those were the heady days. We’ll meet you up in Winn at the political hall of fame dinner one day, and reminisce about days gone by.

Oh, it won’t be for your induction or anything, but probably just another courtesy invites, the kind they give to former governor, guys who used to mean something around here.


One comment on “Jindal Bandwagon in Reverse

  1. Jameel Radford says:

    Bobby Jindal and Chris Christie are both “Hot Pockets.” The presentation looks good and marketing works for the undiscerning consumer, but after you’ve had it you realize it was a bad choice, offered nothing material or of value and now you have an immediate need find the nearest bathroom!

    Jindal has lived his best years, meaning there is absolutely no value coming from him in the future. He is an absolute loser in every category measurable. His demonstrated performance proves that he is UNFIT to be a president, governor, mayor, council person, mail carrier – you get the picture. If after 7 years in the same position he can’t produce tangible, measurable results for just 1 state, how in the hell can he manage 50.

    Clearly Jindal has little to no experience in financial management, planning, investment, debt restructuring, taxes, forecasting or budgeting. If hurricanes Katrina and Rita never happened he wouldn’t have been able to receive those federal dollars that he used and lied about stating that he reduced the state deficit. It is apparent that Jindal uses his own personal financial strategy – “robbing peter to pay paul” to manage the state budget. He has demonstrated that he is incapable of creating new revenue streams for the state or growing the existing. Jindal’s incompetence will turn Louisiana into the next Detroit.

    If Bobby “The Loser” Jindal had been in the office of the Presidency over the last 7 years where would we be: Credit Card Crisis, Housing Crisis, Recession, Auto Manufacturer Bailout, Banking Bailout, etc. – The United States would be up for sale and he would be somewhere running his mouth spinning lie after lie and taking no accountability.

    Jindal would be best served putting the talent that he does have to good use by starting a business with Sarah Palin and running bus tours in the remote parts of Alaska.


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