The Red Shtick: “An Open Letter to Governor Jindal”
I’ll be honest. I don’t like you. I’ve never liked you. Maybe it’s your awkward folksiness or your generally amateurish disposition. It’s hard to say, really. I must admit, though, that when you were elected, I felt reasonably confident that you could handle the job. I thought to myself, “Well, he’s not my guy, but at least he’s smart and moderately competent.” Holy shit, was I wrong.
I realize you’re not as dumb as you pretend to be. My guess is that you decided at some point that intellectual integrity is a political liability. And maybe you’re right. Maybe everything about politics militates against intelligent discourse. Maybe, as a matter of strategy, it’s safer to do nothing and appear smart to stupid people than it is to actually lead. I honestly don’t know.
The point of this letter is to tell you what I do know and to explain to you why you’re not good at your job. For most of your tenure, you’ve been a complete and utter failure. Rather than advance the interests of Louisianans, you’ve shamelessly served your own. Instead of fixing shit, you’ve devoted much of your time to writing stupid and largely incoherent columns for national publications, virtually none of which have anything to do with Louisiana. You’ve also made a habit of traveling about the country making gaseous (and unintentionally ironic) speeches about the GOP’s need to “stop being the stupid party.”